Totally forgotten

The cold bit me this morning when I went out to do the morning chores. The thick mist had an eerie yet peaceful quality as I carried the cows their buckets of mash – pollard, molasses, lucerne chaff and a mineral mix. I give them this every second day, they get hay on the other. I’m not very experienced with our cows yet and I’m trying to make sure they maintain their condition over the winter months when there isn’t as much feed in the paddock. I’d like to plant some fodder trees for them but I need to do some more research. Most of the trees I’ve seen suggested are weed species around here – honey locust, tagasaste, mulberry. It’s a similar story for chook fodder, and we urgently need to get some trees established for them.


My brother and his family were out here again today. More of the same except today I gave the kids a ride on Nugget. I’m getting quite attached to Nugget. I’m going to miss him when he has to go. I wonder how hard it is to pick a horse’s temperament, thinking ahead to the time when we’ll look at buying some horses of our own. He’s a good horse. He walked the kids around the paddock, ignoring the others screaming, crying, running. I led Mum around too and my sister-in-law had a short ride by herself.


As they were all leaving I realised there was an extra child outside playing on the swing. It was our neighbour’s son. I had totally forgotten that I’d arranged to meet his bus after school and look after him for an hour or so until his mum picked him up. Apparently when the bus pulled up at the gate and there was no-one there the bus driver got out and walked him up to the house, leaving him in the care of the swarm of kids on the trampoline.


I’ve been reading Pema Chodron and listening to her speak. She talks of coming back to being right here. Staying with yourself through everything life throws at you without the accompanying thoughts and judgements, the conceptual analysis, just clear seeing your emotions. It is quite hard but useful. I'm used to Emma being close and I miss her.


The clear day today has given way to a cold night, and my little wood heater is struggling to ward off the cold. I only have a small tank to store wood in, enough for about a month and unfortunately the last lot of wood I got is still a bit green. I’m expecting a frost tomorrow.

“I’m grateful that my cousins came for lunch again and that I got to watch Nana on a horse”
(Confused? Look)